The Weakness In Me
by ihearthuxon
Summary: Oneshot: If I choose now, I'll lose out; One of you has to fall... I need you, and you. Stuart/Sam/Phil


Hi !  
Currently I'm having exams and like usually when I shouldn't be writing, I get a lot of inspiration :p  
This one is for _Kelly_ and all the other **Huxon-fans** and people who like to perv on **Scott Maslen** :) He is so damn sexy..._ Mmm_ :p  
Anyway, I heard this song while studying and it hit me how well it fitted in this storyline. I knew the song for years and now I know why I know it! (If that makes sense :p)  
Please tell me what you think of this. It's just something I came up with. Hope you all like it :)  
Hugs and kisses,  
Astrid

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The weakness in me

_I'm not the sort of person who falls in and quickly out of __love__  
But to you, I give my __affection__, right from the start.  
I have a lover who __loves me__ - how could I break such a heart?  
Yet still you get my attention. _

Shutting the door silently behind her she walked to her car, making sure her heals didn't made any noise. In her car she turned the heating on and sighed. She hadn't been able to resist him. Yet again. This wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last either. She didn't want it to be the last time. For that, it was too perfect.  
She started to car and drove home, thinking things through. How his warm hands moved over her body, how she couldn't stop even if she wanted to, the taste of his lips. Before she realised, she was home. Going in the house, heading upstairs and undressing quickly, she slipped in bed next to the man she called her boyfriend. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her briefly. "I missed you." He murmured, falling asleep again.

_Why do you come here, when you know I've got troubles enough?  
Why do you call me, when you know I can't answer the __phone__?  
And make me lie when I don't want to,  
And make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool?  
You make me stay when I should not?  
Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?  
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by?  
I need to see you - I need to hold you - tightly. _

Countless calls, text messages, dirty notes and visits at his home didn't made things better. She was addicted to him as much as he was to her.  
Sam looked into CID from inside of her office, watching the two men in her life. Her boyfriend and her lover. Both talking and joking to another like nothing was wrong, like nothing connected them. How little did they knew she was cheating on the both, with the both of them. She had asked Stuart not to act like her boyfriend on the office. Her reputation and things like that, that was what she had said. Phil she had asked the same.  
She felt like a stranger in her own life. The secrets and lies were taking over and there were moments when she didn't know who she was anymore. She knew in the end she would have to choose. But now, she needed them both a little too much.

_Feeling guilty,  
Worried, Waking from a tormented sleep  
This old __love__, you know it has me bound,  
But the new love cuts so deep.  
If I choose now, I'll lose out;  
One of you has to fall...  
I need you, and you._

Sam sighed and looked at the notebook. She was writing down the pros and contras of being with either of her men. Stuart was nice, soft, warm, traditional. Phil was passionate, wild, hot and unpredictable. Stuart was a bit boring but Phil would go running away if things would get more serious. Why was this so difficult, why was choosing between a steady and a passionate relationship so difficult? Why did she want both? She closed her eyes, letting her thoughts run freely in her mind. Stuart, yes she would choose for Stuart. He was traditional and steady. He wouldn't bail on her if she would end up pregnant or get second thoughts. Stuart would even forgive her if she cheated on him. God, she would miss Phil and maybe his body and sex even more but Stuart would always be there, Phil maybe not. Yes, Stuart was the right choice.  
Throwing the piece of paper in the bin she poured herself a glass of wine, proud that she had decided. Before she could take a first sip her phone went off. Taking it out of her pocket, her heart started pounding again when she read the person that had send her the text. Opening and reading the message made her put down her glass and grab her coat. Ten minutes later she rang his doorbell.

"Hi Sam." He smiled

"Hi Phil." She smiled back.

He slowly slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her inside, kissing her before they were even in the house.

_Why do you come here, when you know I've got troubles enough?  
Why do you call me, when you know I can't answer the __phone__?  
And make me lie when I don't want to,  
And make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool?  
And make me stay when I should not?  
Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?  
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by?  
I need to see you - I need to hold you – tightly._

Driving back home, her hair a mess but extremely satisfied she could still taste him. A taste she never wanted to forget. It was too good for that.  
When Sam entered her apartment she was pleasantly surprised, Stuart was cooking.  
"Hi." She said soft when entering the kitchen. "It smells nice in here."

"I thought you might need a good meal after a day like this."

Sam frowned. "What kind of day?"

Stuart smiled. "A long day on the office."

Sam relaxed again and let him kiss her. "Mm, you smell nice." He noticed. "What is it you wear?"

Knowing exactly what kind of perfume she was wearing and who got it for her she answered vaguely. "Something someone gave me once."

"It's nice." Stuart turned around to stir in the pots and pans while Sam took a seat with a new glass of wine. Maybe this wasn't the right time to choose. She needed both too much right now and she wasn't willing to lose one of them. She couldn't bear to lose the steadiness Stuart offered her and she could resist Phil. For now, she would keep them both. Her boyfriend and her lover.

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**Reviews are loved :)**


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